Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
