i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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