btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
