I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
