chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
