I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
