she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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