Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
