maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Farmville is her only friend.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
