Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
