Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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