he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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