My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
