Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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