When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
there is glitter all over my balls
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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