Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Non-Jews are for practice
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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