So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
