he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
