i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
