Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
