Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Say something about gay babies.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
