either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
