there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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