If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
