Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
