I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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