he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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