That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
