My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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