well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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