just tell him i said nine months
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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