The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
