Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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