Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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