im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
