oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
