Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
