Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
