ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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