Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
