How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You pole danced in your parka.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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