ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
