my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
