I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
