Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
