all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
