Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and she was petting her beer can
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
