I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
