i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
