Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
