I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
